Tuesday, 27 September 2011

20 ways to get intimacy back in your relationship

Found this interesting article on MSN Life & Style.

Keep asking questions

Couples therapists agree that a failure to communicate is at the root of many relationship problems. If you talk with your partner but the conversation is usually about the kids, money, or the fact the dog was sick that morning, it's time to refocus.

Pillow talk

There is something magical about the whispered conversations we have in bed. Lying together under the covers lends itself to intimacy. If you do nothing else, change your routine so that you spend some quality time between the sheets together, even if it's just to talk.

That means banning the TV and the kids from the room and making sure you go to bed at the same time - if only for a few nights of the week. With emotional intimacy re-established, you're likely to find sexual intimacy improves too.

Give a compliment

It's easy to criticise and complain but too much negativity will erode even the strongest of relationships. Studies show that it takes seven positive comments to balance out a negative one - so start spreading the love!

Everyone likes to feel noticed and appreciated and an unexpected (but heartfelt) compliment can go a long way. Does he have great arms? Do you love the way she giggles? Focusing on the positive helps build rapport and create a trusting space for intimacy to grow.

The power of touch

Good communication isn't just about talking. A hug at the end of a hard day or a reassuring squeeze of the hand can mean so much. If you find you rarely touch your partner, it's worth getting back into the habit.

Make a conscious effort to hold hands when you go out, whether in the street or a restaurant. If sex has been off the agenda for some time, small touches can help re-open the door to physical intimacy.

Remember to kiss

Research shows that couples who kiss every day are more likely to stay together. In some ways, kissing is more intimate than sex (remember Julia Roberts and her no kissing rule in Pretty Woman?).

Relationship therapists report that couples often stop kissing before they stop having sex. If your partner is lucky to get a peck on the cheek, surprise them with a full on smooch next time they walk through the door.

Water sports

Many couples find they lose some of the intimacy they once enjoyed after starting a family. In the post-pregnancy days that can be down to tiredness, adjusting to new roles or feeling less attractive. As the children grow, it can simply be a case of not having any privacy!

If you can't keep the kids out of your bed, consider locking the door and taking a shower together each morning or take a long hot soak in the bath once they're asleep. Good clean fun or the potential to get dirty - it's up to you.

Try something new today

Most relationships hit the 'stuck in a rut' stage at some point. The adrenaline-fuelled rush of those early days can feel like a lifetime ago but that doesn't mean you can't get some of the excitement back.

Escape your daily routine and do something new: learn to salsa, book a hot air balloon ride, take an acting class together, anything that gets you out of your comfort zone. A shared new experience will bring you together - and give you something new to talk about, if nothing else!

Scare yourself silly

Talking of an adrenaline-fuelled rush... pick an activity that's exhilarating for your day out and you could very well get the blood pumping in your relationship too.

When we do something scary the body releases a huge surge of adrenaline, which mimics the hormones we experience when we fall in love. A rollercoaster ride, sky diving, car racing or watching a scary movie together will leave you breathless and ready for even more excitement.

Get away from it all

Even strong relationships can stagnate if you don't look for new ways to explore and enjoy each other's company. The fastest way to kick start things is to take a break from everyday life. Visit a foreign country and experience new cultures and you're likely to learn things about each other too.

Can't afford a foreign holiday? Go camping instead. Fresh air, sunshine and getting back to nature will leave you feeling refreshed and new - plus, the kids will love it.Surprise one another

Most of us accept that it's natural for a relationship to change over time (research suggests the initial excitement stage lasts for 18 months) but that's no reason to let things get stale.

Surprise one another

Most of us accept that it's natural for a relationship to change over time (research suggests the initial excitement stage lasts for 18 months) but that's no reason to let things get stale.

Surprise your partner with tickets to an event you know they'll love - and hide them somewhere unexpected for extra fun. If money is tight, blindfold them and drive out to a remote beauty spot for a romantic picnic. Spontaneity and surprise are natural aphrodisiacs, so who knows, you might be using that blindfold again before the end of the night.

Rekindle old passions

What was it that used to make you feel alive? Rekindle the passions and interests you had when you were single - only this time enjoy them together as a couple.

Take it in turns to suggest an activity and agree beforehand that you will both make an effort to participate and be positive. It might mean you agree to see modern dance one weekend in exchange for going potholing the next. With any luck, you will rekindle the passion for each other as well as rediscovering an old hobby.

Friends reunited

Remember when you used to share a joke over a glass of wine, talk for hours on the phone and agree on almost everything? You were friends (as well as lovers) once, so try to remember what it was you liked about your partner in the first place.

Retrace your steps and enjoy some much-needed fun and you'll soon be on the road to sharing a deeper intimacy together.

Location, location, location

Okay, so you didn't expect the passion to last but whips, handcuffs and dressing up? You don't need to invest in a wardrobe of kinky outfits and toys (though of course, that's fine too) in order to put the spark back.

A few small changes can make a big difference. If you always have sex at the same time and the same place, try a different location. The kitchen table or on the stairs - next time the mood takes you, go for it there and then, rather than always going up to the bedroom.

Back to the start

Few couples, married or not, continue the adventurous, any time, anywhere sex they enjoyed at the start. Once the sexual intimacy has gone from a relationship, it can be hard to regain it - but certainly not impossible. After all, there's a good chance your partner feels the same way about it as you.

Take time to get to know one another again. Retrace your steps - wine and dine them, make them laugh, send them flirty messages. Don't presume you know what they like in bed either, tastes and desires can change. Ask, explore and enjoy - just take it slow.

Don't judge a book

Remember the days when you read aloud to one another? There's something wonderfully intimate about reading and being read to - whether in bed, lazing on a rowboat or relaxing on a picnic blanket.

Instead of reading different books at night, read your favourite novel to each other. If you want to spice things up, choose an erotic title or give your partner a book to read which contains things you'd like to try. This can be a great way to share your fantasies if you feel shy talking about them. You'd be amazed what you can buy on Amazon these days!

Play with each other

At the end of a long day sometimes you just want to slump in front of the TV. There's nothing wrong with that - but staring at a screen isn't likely to create intimacy, unless you're cuddled up watching a romantic movie!

Choose a night of the week to turn the TV off and do something else. Chess, cards or board games can all be fun. (The kids will love it, even if they moan at first.) Of course, when they've gone to bed, you might even like to play a naughty game.

Have a laugh

We've all heard how 'laughter is the best medicine' - and it's true for our relationships, as well as our health. When we laugh the body releases endorphins into the bloodstream including serotonin, nature's anti-depressant, which makes us feel good.

Laughter also has the power to strengthen the emotional bonds between people. Tickle each other, book tickets to see a stand-up comedian or learn clowning skills for the day - anything that makes you giggle will bring you closer together.

Pamper makes perfect

Who doesn't like to be pampered now and then? There's more to the power of touch than you might realise. Studies show that human physical contact has the power to relieve anxiety, decrease blood pressure and strengthen the immune system.

Touch that's given by a loving partner can be even more powerful. If your relationship is lacking sexual intimacy, take it in turns to pamper one another (wash their hair or give them a shoulder or foot rub), without any pressure to have sex. A loving touch is one of the most precious gifts you can give - and it costs nothing.

Date night

It may feel contrived to schedule sex into your calendar but if you want to enjoy more intimacy in your relationship, sometimes you have to make it happen. Just as you might book a babysitter for a 'date night', arrange for family to take the kids off your hands for an evening or an afternoon.

Even better, book a night at a hotel. Anticipation is a great aphrodisiac, and seeing a special night written into the calendar will give you both something to look forward to.

Clear the air

A lack of intimacy (whether emotional or physical) can often signal other problems in a relationship. If you feel anger or resentment towards your partner you will first need to take steps to resolve the situation - ignoring how you really feel to keep the status quo will only damage your relationship in the long run.

Choose a quiet moment, speak honestly and lovingly (not when you're already angry) and be willing to take your share of the blame. It you haven't been honest with one another for years, a counsellor can help give you the support you need to work things through.

I totally agree with everything of the above! Except for the sharing book part. LOL.

Saturday, 17 September 2011


I went to Hairesources saloon today.

Had a new haircut!!

Then had my favourite Kimchi chigae as dinner!! Happy happy.. ;)

- Posted from my iPhone

Tuesday, 13 September 2011


I heart <3
You are my angel..

This Instagram application is fun! It enhances the photo quality. Yayy new addiction!

I'm half dead..exhausted from work... Help!!!!

How I wish I can get away from the city, retreat from this busy place and have a relaxing holiday. T.T

- Posted from my iPhone

Sunday, 11 September 2011


Ops I did it again!!

I abandoned my dear blog..

Sorry ne, was rather busy with work last week.. T.T

Mooncake festival is tomorrow! Am excited, my sister is coming back from SG!

Present to you my tanglung! He's called "Moo-Lung"!! DOB 31.8.11 he's a merdeka boy too!!


I realised that I need to "fine tune" my health and decided to consume Eu Yan Sang Bak Foong Yuen from now onwards.

RM 88 per box for 6 weeks.

According to the leaflet, am required to consume a bottle per week during non menstruation week.

It looked like this..

And it tastes horrible.. "gawd".

Lets see if it helps to maintain my youth.

- Posted from my iPhone

Monday, 5 September 2011

Spring Clean


My room..



Sometimes I wonder if I'm a girl..


Tadaaaa.... for once I'm a tidy person. *beams in pride*

Well, restored my Iphone to my previous setting.. pictures, music, contacts.. Everything is coming back to me! ;)

- Posted from my iPhone

Friday, 2 September 2011

Iphone warranty

I purchased my Iphone last year from Mac Store at OneU. Back then I didn't subscribe to any call plan from Maxis, paid, took the Iphone unit and left.

Few months ago, I noticed there's problem with my Iphone home button, it's no longer sensitive and at times I had to press on the home button numerous times just to go back to the home screen.. Pissed betul.

It didn't cross my mind that I could actually replace it with another new unit until I told my brother about it.

"Bodoh.. You can bring back to maxis for a 1 to 1 swap!"


How would I know jek? I thought its a normal wear and tear and it will not be covered under the warranty.

I happily went to Maxis Centre @ Putrajaya two weeks ago hoping to get my Iphone replaced.. Unfortunately I left the store empty handed because apparently I'm required to present a Maxis Service Card in order to activate the warranty offered..

To my memory, I really don't remember receiving any service card when I bought it last year.. Mehhhh can't change phone lor??? I asked the staff how does the warranty card looks like and if possible I would like to be shown a sample of it. He duly did so.


Takde leh...

I thought Maxis @ Alamanda Putrajaya was being bitchy to me and so I tried my luck at MacStore @ OneU. Again I was brushed aside saying I need to present a service card before they could look into my matter.


Fine.. I still refused to give up. Then I went to the Maxis Centre @ Garden. Told them about my problem, and again they asked for service card. I said I didn't have any. But this time round I managed to move a step further because they actually proceeded to check my IMEI number, to ascertain if my phone is in fact under Maxis warranty..

They keyed in my IMEI number and later said "Sorry your phone is not registered under Maxis warranty."

Arghhhhhh fine if I couldn't change my phone I will get a new one. Being the pessimist me, I tend to give up on things easily but DD advised otherwise, never try never know..

He said he will check out with his friend who is working in Maxis on my issue.

In the end the proposed resolution was for me to go to Maxis Centre at e@Curve. Ohhh some hope for me!!! I see light!!! I see hopeeee!

I went there with him yesterday evening, told them I lost my service card. To my surprise the supporting staff still entertained us! Good sign!

Even when my IMEI is not registered to the system he said its okay! Whoaaa he is the best. He said sometimes the vendor didn't update it to the system.

In the end he took down my IMEI and contact number & name, he said he would check it with the vendor to verify if I really did purchase from them. If yes they will give me a call and give a new replacement to me!

Happy happy thats a good news! At least better than nothing.

And just now, I received a call from Maxis, saying my replacement unit is ready for collection at Maxis @ TTDI!

Maxis @ eCurve is the best man. I love them!

- Posted from my iPhone